A day in the Life

Sometimes

I was talking with a friend today about life, relationships, and dreams.

We focused the most on life and relationships.

We talked about good relationships and bad.

Life and death…and how to deal with the in between.

It all boiled down to emotions and attitude.

I realized that I am incapable of hate…I can get angry or upset…but I can’t hate.

I notices that even when someone has wronged me, sure I’m upset for a bit…but after a few hours/days I’m okay…

For some reason I justify why they did it…I look at all of their dimensions…they personality, behavior, spiritually, even there socioeconomic status. I try to view life through their perspective in how I could have possibly hurt them, or how the world could have hurt them.

Sometimes people just need someone to listen, to care, to be with them in silence…Not to long ago I learned that silence is an amazing way to get to know someone.

At times people’s anger and resentment is caused by external sources out of our control, which causes them to feel confused, upset, intrigued…a plethora of different emotions…one thing is certain. A human being will always react.

I have chosen to react in such a way that I take a break, analyze the situation, look at both perspectives, and then come back to the issue when I have a leveled head.

It doesn’t always work, but when it does it makes life a lot easier.

It’s a shame that sometimes I don’t get the opportunity to go back to the situation because the other person already decided I wasn’t worth their time.

Rehydration

Hidden in my world of emotions and equations

I ponder my existence and question my frustration 

How could what’s happening bring me any elation

An attack on my thoughts is only an impending invasion 

I sit and I wait and my brain wants a vacation 

Because no matter how you put it I can’t shake this sensation

Words in this world seem to be lost in translation 

And all I can do it fight this temptation

I praise the lord for this sturdy foundation 

Because I fight and I wait in this same location

For the day and time that I be rid of this infestation

So I can feel the quick beats of my heart’s renovation    

Real

Stuck in your dream world

Claiming it’s your real world

Making up excuses 

But you know it’s a nuisance

Looking for peace

Searching for that piece

Takes you to a state of jubilation 

Trial and Error is your higher education

So what is your reality?

Will it cause a fatality?

Why did you lock it away?

And when can it come out and play? 

Shell

Who hurt you so?

Who damaged your parts?

Who tainted your emotions with impurity?

With each strike to your heart, your blood became darker and thicker

That your blood began to boil with anger and freeze with sadness

Your bones become dense, you heart so heavy,and your muscles so tired

Your cells began to multiply at such an alarming rate

That you started forming a coat

Who harmed you in such a manner?

That this, coat, became thick and rough

So thick that it began to harden, into a shell

Your emotions now hidden behind this shell that no one could reach

You say you’re fine, you say that you won’t hide

But the shell blocks your ability to Trust,Thrive,Try

Due to Fear.

But I, I will not give up on you.

Fear, is the cowards way out.

Fear to Love, Fear to Lose, Fear to Live

But I, I will not be bound by fear, because I see right through that shell and I see you for who you really are.

A person.

I will risk it for you.

I will risk it for your love

I will risk it for your trust

I will risk it for your happiness

I will risk it for you.

In the back of the car

As I sit in the back of my friends car, I admire the fact that my friends help me feel better, but each time Gil quotes a Anchorman line, and Josie talks about her love for Glee…it gets to me. I want her to have a great time in England, I want her to have awesome experiences, I don’t want to hold her back…but I never got to say want I want say, I don’t get to hold her at night, I don’t get to kiss her forehead and say goodnight.

Enough is Never Enough

Bm, F#m, G

Enough is never enough for you 

You say the world has deserted you

But could it be that you left everyone else behind

Could it be that your pain was caused by your own hand

Could it be that your love for yourself has died

Your head filled with nonsense and lies

Your heart filled with mistrust and cries

Your soul is crying, but you’re just on that brink and you don’t know how to get back  X2

I sit on this bed waiting for your return

Wondering what idea you’ll have next

Whether it be that you’re better than everyone else or you’re the victim of their crimes

To be honest you’re the victim of your own insecurities

Your head filled with nonsense and lies

Your heart filled with mistrust and cries

Your soul is crying, but you’re just on that brink and you don’t know how to get back  X2

And there’s nothing I can doooooooooo

And there’s nothing I can sayyyyyyyy

And there’s nothing I can trustttt

Can you find you own way back?  X2

Your head filled with nonsense and lies

Your heart filled with mistrust and cries

Your soul is crying, but you’re just on that brink and you don’t know how to get back  X2

By Christian Padilla

Past and Present

I stand in the middle of my Past and my Present.

The things I have Seen return in a familiar shape but a different form.

I am too old to be naive, but not old enough to be stoic.

I stand in the middle of Forgiveness and Regret.

The things I Read tell me that forgiveness, hope, and love are the path to the truth, the way, the light.

I am too young to understand, but not old enough to reject.

I stand in the middle of my Feelings and my Logic.

The things I have Heard cause my brain to fight over supreme ruling over my morals,spirituality,well-being, intelligence, ignorance,resistance and acceptance.

I am too old to ignore the world, but not old enough to face the world alone.

I stand in the middle of Love and Hate.

The things I Love give me reasons to keep going, wake-up in the morning, help others, fix problems, and to be content with the little I have.

I am to young to change the world at large, but not to old to change my world.

I stand in the middle of my Past and Present.

As the world turns

As the world turns.

We age into a shadow of what we use to be.

We buy into the ideas of happiness, love, money, expectations. 

We cry about the ones we love,hate,loose,gain.

We die every time we stop trying.

We fly over the seas and mountains in our search for purpose. 

We grow old with the one we love.

We hide our insecurities so society cannot judge us.

We isolate our true selves.

We jump for the chance to lead better lives.

We kill our dreams each time we doubt.

We love the ones who never leave.

We meet life at the door every time we step out.

We narrate what we want to hear.

We open our minds to new experiences.

We pout when we don’t get what we want.

We quit when we give up hope.

We ride to get away or to get to something we chase.

We sing to express our passions and pains.

We triumph over our inner demons. 

We unveil our tough exteriors to the ones who are like us. 

We value the little that we have.

We want what we cannot have.

We x-ray what we cannot see, for curiosity holds our attention.

We yearn for chance to fix our mistakes.

We zap away our fears.

As the world turns.

What is it to breath the same air and feel the same sensation? What is it to want love? What is it to want order? What is it to strive to better the human race? What is it to be human?

This what happens when I can’t sleep. I write.